1) One Day at a Time
Stop writing the beginning and the ending of your relationship before the first date. I’m guilty of this, I create storylines in my head and situations that probably won’t happen. I’ve bailed on many relationships because I’ve spooked myself out. Before a date I often repeat “one day at a time” until I believe it.
2) Stop listening to your friends.
I’ve made the mistake of talking to my friends about my relationships and instead of feeling better, I’ve lumped their insecurities unto my own, which often skewed the way I approached my relationship. Getting advice from a friend is great, but choose wisely who you get advice from and their motives. Not ever friend wants you be happy in love. That’s another post 👀
3) Be realistic:
You can’t get to know someone in two weeks or 2 months. Take your time and self-reflect after every date. Ask yourself, how you felt and if he/she was consistent. Keeping a journal has helped me manage my dating anxiety, by helping me see what’s tangible and what’s fantasy. It’s easy to work yourself into a frenzy thinking he’s ignored your call, but writing down that he mentioned he had a big meeting the day your call went unanswered may bring you back to reality.
4) Keep Active
Idle time is dangerous if you’re a over-analyzer! Workout, read, go out with your girlfriends, start a project. Do anything but sit home and scroll through old texts and their FB posts. It’s hard not to read into things but again unless you’re willing to confront the person you’re dating, coming to your own conclusions is wasteful and harmful.
5) Let them GO!
Not every date will turn into a walk down the aisle and that’s ok. You can enjoy a persons company without making a commitment to them and that may be best in most cases. This isn’t a race and you should move at your own pace. Just be clear with your intentions and enjoy the ceremony of dating and getting to know someone.
If my tips were helpful, let me know. I have a huge date In a couple of weeks and instead of freaking out, I’m working out and reading some long forgotten books I’ve started. I feel centred and I’m open to whatever happens. Get out there and keep dating! You’re worth getting to know!
Question: when was your last date? Did it go well? What would you have changed?