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Hello friends!
I have reconciled with Mr. Reliable and I’m on my way to meet him in New York this Wednesday. I’m flustered, nauseous and a bit apprehensive. I’m the Napoleon of love- big ideas but always coming short of wherewithal. My nature is to sabotage this trip so that I won’t have to deal or answer uncomfortable questions like “Where do you see us going” or “How many viable eggs do you have left”
There are so many reasons to run like a bat out of he’ll a la Meatloaf but just as much reasons to stay and have throat lump worthy conversations. He’s the ONE. I hate saying that because I want to believe that I’m enough but my brain and the insistent butterflies in my stomach tell me otherwise. Instead of perseverating on the unknown I plan/want/need to focus on the tangibles that I can see. I know he loves me and he’s a good man- shouldn’t that be enough? Why am I waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop…. Isn’t this what love is? Finding a good person who loves you? Why am I worried if he’ll bring me flowers, keep the pantry stocked with Tazo Teas and understand my dress and shoe fetish. If he’s good won’t he know that I need these things or at least be open to learning how to supply my wacky needs? It’s so easy to look at the negatives and read between the lines (that don’t really exist) instead of appreciating the good stuff that makes him my true love #barf
I’m a researcher by fault
Always looking for clues even imaginary ones
Maybe it’s time to put away my magnifying glass and just deal with the info in front of me.
I will not sabotage this trip
I’m putting all my chips in the table

Question: Have you ever reconnected with a ex? What fears did you have and did they come true?

Off to pack and bite my nails

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