Temperatures are rising in the city and not only because of the HEATWAVE that has dominated for the last few days.  There are so many opinions on cheating and what it means, how far one can go and if emotional cheating is worse than physical. It’s such a tricky subject because one never intentionally *hopefully wakes up saying “today I will cheat” yet it can happen quicker than wink and have devastating results. In my relationship we haven’t spoken about it in details. Mr. Reliable stated that you’re mine so don’t cheat on me which is pretty matter-of-fact but since I’m a sabotager and a analyst by trade I had to dissect that statement and get to the marrow if you will.

What do you mean “I’m yours”?? I’m your girlfriend, the person whose hand you hold, your true blood tv companion or the one who eats the pizza crusts that you leave behind? Is “your mine” a statement of commitment, control or a beacon on the pathway of this relationship. In my humble opinion, until we’ve discussed being boyfriend/girlfriend we don’t technically belong to each other. I like to call this phase in my relationships the “But then again Maybe I won’t” phase a la Judy Blume. I mean we like each other, perhaps even love each other but if Maxwell was strolling down the street singing Bad Habits there’s a great chance I’d follow him, pounce and make out with him but then again maybe I won’t.

I know how I feel about Mr. Reliable, I know this is who I want to spend the rest of my life with but life is a buffet and there are so many options that it’s difficult to just deal with eating from ONE bowl for the rest of your life. I haven’t cheated on him since we’ve reconnected, I’ve flirted but I flirt with Grannies and children that’s just my make-up  so that doesn’t count but I’ve shielded myself from potential dates and make out sessions by running in the opposite direction or deleting texts as quickly as they come through in hopes that this gets me some relationship credits that I can claim down the road. 

So yes, I agree that cheating while you’re dating someone is WRONG but what about emotional cheating? So many experts and tv talk show hosts have spread the rumour that women make emotional attachments while men just “give it to ya raw” jump off and go back to their unsuspecting wives or girlfriends.  I’m not sure if I believe that. I know a guy who loves me who happens to be in a relationship. We haven’t kissed, held hands NOTHING but we have a strong bond and he shares with me his inner most darkest secrets. Does that mean he’s cheating on his wife? Or am I just a good friend that he vents to? Who knows….

I know this, that I want to be faithful to the thought of a longterm relationship even if the proof  of one isn’t in my hands. It’s a risk, but I’m willing to take it in hopes that the long-term results will outweigh temporary moments of weakness. This is so unlike me and difficult but I have to start acting like a wife before I become a wife….right? I’m still reluctant in some areas but especially when it comes to hurting him. Lord have mercy I think we just had a BREAKTHROUGH folks!

Question:

Are you a cheater or reformed cheater? What made you stop? Is emotional cheating ever ok?

 

 

 

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