I’m in bed, eating fruit thinking about where we went wrong, I’ve got the breakup blues! I could call him, ask him if he still misses me, ask him if there’s a chance that we can sort things out, but I won’t. I know he’s not the one and forcing him to be is wrong. It doesn’t help that I’ve been having some interesting dreams about him where we have epic make out sessions and eat huge plates of fries …
He taught me a lot about myself and this year, I plan to date a bit differently. I’m going to ask the tough questions upfront (are you dating multiple people) and eliminate men who are “fixer-uppers”. I love projects and re-making a guy is a lot of fun for me but it’s also emotionally draining and leaves me unfulfilled. I’m also going to deal with my Dad issues, commitment issues and my anxiety about planning for the future. I strongly believe that these are some of the reasons that relationships are so challenging for me and why I avoid them. I’ve been concocting poultices for my issues but this year I plan to dig in and do the work and heal.
I expect lots of tears and frustration but I know it will be worth it.
For now, I’m listening to 80s pop music, working out everyday and eating lots of fruit. I’ve decided to nix the ice cream and cookies route because I may see him next week lol. I’m sure our first conversation will be interesting but I’m looking forward to seeing his face or maybe hugging him.
I have to remind myself that he’s not my enemy but someone I cared deeply about.

Do you have some background issues that you have to deal with before you start dating again? What are they?

Miss Reluctant

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