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I think one of the most awkward moments known to man is when you finally see your ex-boyfriend after months of avoiding him. Talk about open up the floor and swallow me whole. I have a rule about dealing with my exes. I don’t. I erase pictures, return snuggly hoodies, block phone calls, and ignore them in public. In the next few weeks, I’m going to run into someone i liked and I’m already dreading it. I don’t have feelings for him anymore and I’m not jealous that he’s moved on, I just hate seeing my mistakes in living color. It’s not about my ex-partner but more about the embarrassment about how silly I was to even find interest in them in the first place.

I’m a serial “talker” I love the begiinning of a fresh relationship, It’s glossy and smells new and I relish in that but when it’s worn out or I’ve lost interest (which always happens) I like to pretend that the person never existed. Childish and hurtful, yes, but that’s my way of coping with disappointment,

I’m determined to do things a bit differently this time. I’m not going to hide or be mute when we come face-to-face. I’m going to say “hello” and keep it moving. I’m not interested in how he’s been or silly anecdotes but at one point he did make me smile and I need to honor those memories. I’m slowly beginning to realize that moving on doesn’t mean destroying all evidence of the past. You can look back at the good and painful memories and still manage to be civil to the person who disappointed you. It won’t be easy, nothing is when dealing with the heart but I strongly believe that it builds emotional intelligence when we learn how to deal with people we’ve hurt or who have hurt us.

D-Day is this weekend and I’m going to slap on some lipgloss, put on a cute maxi dress and show up and out! I’ve chosen not to perseverate on how awkward our first conversation might be or if i’ll I spend the next few weeks after seeing him sad about the end of our relationships. Nope, I’m going to eat hot dogs, listen to music and relax and go with the flow.

I’ll be sure to update you

Have any of you met up with your exes in the last few months? How did it go?

trw

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