Happy Tuesday and WELCOME to the first day of my “Love Warfare” seminar. This won’t be a easy ride, there’s a lot to discuss, much will be revealed and it will hurt, but healing is promised. I always ask my girlfriends, what was the earliest moment of love that they remember. Most reply that it was their first relationship or maybe a childhood memory with a parent. Very rarely do I ever hear “I started to embrace love when I chose to love myself” and that’s where our journey begins. Audre Lourde said that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Deciding to abandon the illusion that love that comes from others is the only love that can be validated is a direct affront to how society sees and embraces love. What would happen if you didn’t wait for someone for confirmation of love but instead chose to love yourself radically and without reservation. Scary, right? This is where love becomes challenging because it’s easier to hide our flawed selves from our partners in an attempt to secure their love. When you chose to love yourself despite yourself you have to look at the ugly bits and your issues head on, and warfare will ensue. Personally, the moment I decided that loving myself was paramount to my soul, hell broke loose. I lost friends and relationships because I put my needs and self-care before everything. It was difficult and at times isolating but I needed to do something radical to get through and to put to rest my issues when it came to relationships and how I interpret and give love.

The first step on this sometimes grueling process was to ask myself 3 questions:

Why I didn’t think I deserved love?
Why did I run or wiggle away when people offered me love? and
Why did the thought of defining my relationships make me uncomfortable?

I’ll share my answers on a later post but take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. To get the full experience of my “Love Warfare” seminar I encourage you to keep a journal and to take 15 minutes of silence a day to center yourself everyday.
Feel free to share this post with your loved ones and if you have questions, leave them in the comments.