The weather outside is absolutely dreadful. I knew it was too balmy last night when I went to my neighborhood bodega for some mintballs and Arizona “Mucho Mango” juice! While staring out the window, I started to think about ideal vacation spots that I’d love to go with a boyfriend or husband. Would I rather lay around on a sandy beach or go sight-seeing? Would I rather stay in a luxurious hotel or stay in a hostel with other travelers. Would I rather eat food that I recognize or eat the delights of a foreign country? So many questions. What’s your ideal vacation and have you ever traveled with a lover? Growing up, I was cautioned that ladies don’t vacation with men who aren’t their husbands but I think that’s absolute bullshit. I think it’s great to discover new things and places with someone you care about. Also it’s a great way to see how your partner handles stress. Connecting flights, TSA pat-downs, and gross airport food can bring out the beast in people. When building something long-term its important to see the unpleasant traits of your partner. 

Where have you travelled and where would you love to go? 


I was a super-fan of SATC, I have the DVDs, books, board game, and ringtone. I’ve watched the series many times, but I recently started to rewatch from the end (doesn’t make sense, I don’t make sense). I always thought that Carrie and Mr.Big were the perfect star-crossed couple and I rooted for them through all 6 seasons and movies. Rewatching, I’m seeing their relationship for what is really is, emotionally abusive and toxic. I totally forgot that Big got married to another woman, refused to give Carrie a key, had an affair with Carrie, acted weird after his angioplasty, and left her at the altar. Yes, coming to Paris was romantic but I feel like Carrie really settled with him and should’ve stayed with Aiden. It made me think of the guy that I keep running back to. He hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend, he never remembers special dates, refuses to commit, and bad talks me to his friends. A part of me, like Carrie, has built him up to be a “white knight” because I’m truly blinded by how much of a jerk he is. I know we have no future, but I like to hold onto the relationship because I’m afraid to get hurt by a stranger. I prefer the familiar pain that I’m accustomed to. 

This year, one of my New Years resolutions is to date guys that I haven’t dated before. It’s worked really well for me, I like two people right now, who I originally refused to date because it was unknown territory. I’ve finally closed the chapter on my Mr.Big, and I finally feel free to love again and I’m excited about it. On another note, aside from the going back to my ex thing, I am Miranda! Maybe I’m emotionally stunted but i think I’ve treated my exes like Steve. Lovely guys who jump through hoops to treat me nicely and who I keep at a safe distance, maybe I do this because I’m expecting my Mr. Big to come charging back into my life on a white horse. Whatever the reason, I’ve stopped the cycle. The guy I’m getting to know told me recently that I’m “hard to please” and he wishes I’d be more agreeable. So next week, I plan to say “yes” more and embrace being more flexibile. It won’t be easy, but if Miranda moved to Brooklyn for Steve, I can say “yes” to lunch at Panera. 
What character resonates with you? 

Were you a super-fan of SATC? 

The problem with the whole “fwb/fuck buddy” thing is that a lot of people only look to enter those situations when they’re starved for affection (physical or otherwise) and they underestimate how quickly they will latch onto the person who decides to give them that

I’m loving these IG posts showcasing interracial relationships amongst POCs. So often when we think of “interracial relationships” we tend to literally see it in black & white, it’s pretty refreshing to see love blossom between Koreans, Blacks, Filipinos, Vietnamese, East Indians, Native Indians etc. 

Are you in a interracial relationship? Has your families been accepting, or have they tried to break you up? Has Trump being in power made certain topics uncomfortable for you to discuss with your partner? Have you ever felt that your partner is with you because they festishize your culture or race? As a Black woman, dating outside of my race has been great but sometimes I wonder if people from other races are attracted to me because they see me as a “token” or not the typical Black woman that they’re used to (whatever that means). I’d love to hear your thoughts, share away in the comment section! 

Pastor: Tonight, we are praying for relationships. If you’re happy in your relationship, come to the altar. If your relationship is falling apart, come to the altar. Me: *keeps bum planted firmly in pew* 

Pastor: Sister Topaz, why are you sitting down? Did you not hear the call? 

Me: Oh, I did. I’m not in a relationship

Pastor: You are not in a relationship? 

Me: No

Pastor: What you are saying is that you are not in a relationship? 

Me: No, Pastor. I am not in a relationship 

Pastor: So are you saying that there is no one that you are texting in the evening time? 

Topaz: Well, I-

Pastor: No one in your inbox wanting to spend time with you? 

Topaz: Well, technically-

Pastor: I think you need to come to the altar, you are confused and you need extra prayer

Me: *slithers to the altar*