👀 hi I’ve been missing in action for no good reason, I’m back and here’s an update! I’m still in a weird entanglement with a dude from college, I met a new guy, but I’m not sure if our ideologies mesh, and a person I was really interested in many moons ago, he popped into my DMs and we’ve been having lovely conversations. I’m still hustling, working out, and drinking buckets of lemon water. I’m trying to be a bit more adventurous, taking yoga, kickboxing classes, hitting up new cafes and museums on the weekend. I’ve been incredibly lazy, just netflix and Trader Joe’s snacks. I know that I won’t meet people if I’m stuck in my place, but golly is it hard to venture out after a long week. In the next several weeks, I’ll be discussing dating someone with mental health issues, letting go of someone you love, love after 35, dating in New York, dating outside of your race during dismal political moment, and conquering emotional wellness. Thanks for your commitment to my inconsistent blog, love you all! trw


I wish a she-bear would burst into this restaurant and devour me. This date is is going no where fast. No more pastors. #TopieDates 

And for the record, there’s NO WHERE in the Bible where it says that a woman has to change her last name and that has nothing to with her unwillingness to submit. And secondly, no one wants to talk about submission on the first date And thirdly, there’s never a situation where you can eat a sweet potato fry off my plate.

One thing I’ve learned about dating is that people will come out of the woodwork. My inbox is full of randoms who say crap like “oh, I want to take you out” or “what about me?”WHAT ABOUT NOTHING. 

I don’t want to get married next week but I also don’t want to waste my time with people who only show interest when it looks like I’m moving on. I’m not wasting my time on fruitless relationships, you shouldn’t either.

Conversation was great, lots of laughing. For a long time a partner that made me laugh wasn’t a requirement, now it is. He was incredibly witty, well read and a bit snarky but in the good way. I typically avoid discussions about religion or politics but as WOC in the company of a White person, I need to know if you’re Right leaning/homophobic/bigot/transphobic etc. Me: Mmmm, this salmon is so good, so did you vote for Trump? 

Alright, I got my cornmeal porridge and large mint tea. Let’s break this down. If you’re just catching up, I went on a never-ending date with a 42 year old Jewish man. I had a great time. We went out for dinner, had ice cream and shared a slice of “white pizza.” He showed up in a suit, I’m guessing he came right after work. I was impressed that he could actually breathe in his suit. It was fitted but not spray painted on, I hate that trend. Can’t even lift your hands in worship without fear of splitting your jacket. He looked like he cares about skin care and grooming but that he could take a punch to the face. That’s really important to me, being cute is nice, but can you defend me against a mountain lion? 
He had all of his teeth and his nails were manicured. 

Extremely polite, always held my hand whenever we crossed the street, lots of “lower back guiding.” 

He was very… “touchy” 

I’m not sure if it bothered me, I hate physical touch.. or if that’s normal behavior. 

While eating pizza I had some crumbs on my lips and he wiped it off and my stomach felt jumpy. 

I’m not sure if it was butterflies, I mean, I was raised in the mean streets of Mavis. I’m the embodiment of “thug life” I’m not one to be swept up in feely feelings. It was weird.. 


Well, my friends and loved ones, I have my first date in almost 9 years this evening. I’m not sure how to feel about it, I’m a bit nervous, a bit excited, and a wee over it! Like I said on Monday, I hate dating and everything that comes with it, but I’m going to dust off my LBD and hope for the best. Hey, if he doesn’t like my dimple and sense of humor, it’s his loss. I’m also trying to give up control by not asking too much details and going with “the flow.” This will be challenging, because I’m a control freak, but it’s impossible to sustain a relationship if you have to know what’s around every single corner. Old Topie would typically ask where we’re going, look up the menu, ask him what’s he’s wearing, tell him to meet me somewhere, etc. New Topie is going to meet him at my place, get in the car and allow the date, (which is a blind date) to unfold.

These are details! 


Real Estate 

43 (too young, but I’ll allow it) 


Never married, no kids

Loves mountain biking, marathons, classic movies, and traveling. 

He’s funny and texts every day. 

So, the last time I went on date, “Frazier” was on tv, so does anyone have any dating tips they can share? 

If he buys dinner, do I buy dessert? 🤔

If he asks me if I’d like to have a “night cap” should I try to pick one up at CVS or get one before the date starts? Do they sell “night caps” that will fit my head? 🤔

Do I shake his hand or give him a hug? 🤔

Should I bring flats? Or stick to my Tory Burch heels? 🤔

Should I wear a “Sabbath Scent” or wear a lighter daytime scent? 

If he calls a uber, do I offer to split it or let him pay for it? 🤔
Your input would be great and you can follow my date this evening at #TopieDates

I have a eyelash stuck on my left eyeball. I’ve been trying to get it out for the last 45 minutes. My predicament is really making me rethink my life choices. I’ve made some mistakes..#takesalongdragfromacamdyciggarette