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i just finished watching the first 4 episodes of “Divorce” a HBO Original Show yesterday and I’m officially hooked. I didn’t realize that I missed Sarah Jessica Parker so much or how ridiculously funny Thomas Haden Church is. I’ve never been through a divorce but my parents have and this show’s depiction is very accurate of how funny, heartbreaking, and frustrating a divorce can be. Each scene is exquisite, lots of a facial nuances, hurt feelings, furrowed brows and pain.

Frances and Robert have been married for 10 years, they have 2 children and Frances has decided that she wants to divorce her surly, often times inappropriate, contractor husband. She soon realizes that “leaving” isn’t as easy as she thought. “Divorce” is irreverent, “laugh out loud” funny and very honest. The actors are very polarizing and honestly, any show that has Molly Shannon in it, is a winner in my humble opinion.  I can’t say enough about this show and I hope you try to check it out if you haven’t already.

You can catch “Divorce’ on HBO at 10pm every Sunday.

If you’ve seen the show, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

trw

 

 

 

 

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“Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.
If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.
I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.”
Nikita Gill, Advice to Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love.

beautiful and important words. Please spread this wildly
trw

 

earAre you a good listener? It’s one of my weaknesses. I over-analyze everything an reinterpret what people say and it’s gotten me into so much trouble in my relationships. I tend to always draw the negatives (when there isn’t any) and I sometimes twist my partners words. Its a huge problem, but I’ve gotten better at being a active listener by following these tips:

 

  1. No distractions: I’m always listening to music, writing, tweeting, or doodling and when I’m distracted on the phone, I tend to miss the important parts of the conversation I’m having. This typically leads to confusion and frustration for both parties. Put down the phone and give your partner the attention he/she deserves.
  1. Listen to hear: I have a smart mouth! I’m always looking to sling a snarky comeback and again that’s not only immature but its not conducive for a healthy conversation. I’ve really made a huge effort to listen to understand and not to retort. It’s challenging at times because it’s natural to want to interrupt but it’s creates a environment for a much more civil conversation, when you actively listen.
  2. Use critical thinking and not emotions: It’s so easy for things to derail when you view them through the lens of emotions. Being emotional isn’t a bad thing but often when one is in the heat of the moment “emotions” can color things and often they can be used to manipulate the situation. Outbursts and tears are fine if the motives are pure but if they’re used to discredit and garner sympathy, it’s plain wrong.  I learned to step away and not drown in my feelings especially over things that are trivial.
  3. Ask for clarification: I almost ended things with someone I really care about because I misinterpreted what he said. I was way off, like Jupiter off but instead of stewing and being upset, I called him and asked him to clarify. It saved me a lot of torment and he was happy to explain himself. People make mistakes and it’s easy to say the wrong thing or for things to come out wrong so give your partner the benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain themselves.

I hope these tips will come in handy when you’re in the heat of a agreument. If they don’t, your best bet is to walk away and create some distance before you say something that you regret!

If you have any questions or need love advice don’t forget you can always leave them in the comments!

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I nearly spewed coffee all over my computer  when I read that Angelina Jolie , resident sex-kitten had filed for divorce from boy-next door Brad Pitt after two years of marriage.
Jolie Pitt, 41, filed legal docs Monday citing irreconcilable differences, according to TMZ. She asked for physical custody of the couple’s shared six children – Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox – asking for Pitt to be granted visitation.To be quite honest my mouth is agape. I’ve been following their relationship since Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I was happy when they started dating and scoffed at “poor vanilla Jennifer” who obviously couldn’t handle someone as sexy as Brad Pitt. Now after years of gossip fodder, beautiful children, homes in France and New Orleans, philanthropic work, movies, a wedding and cancer, it’s over. I can’t help but feeling exasperated, because the failure of their marriage points to the fact that men aren’t satisfied with anything. Now, I don’t know Brad, Jennifer or Angelina but they present themselves as the vixen and girl next door.

I thought Brad was probably bored with Jennifer because she was too uptight, too vanilla, too predictable. Angie was sexy, smart, flirty, dangerous and unpredictable and in my naiveté, I thought that would keep a man interested forever. Well, nothing keeps a man interested when he’s ready to go.
I think relationships and marriage is very hard and even two people who love each other can/will breakup. There’s no secret formula or potion to attract a life partner. Being too sweet, quiet, and available doesn’t always work. Playing hard-to-get, flirty, adventurous doesn’t fly with all guys either. There’s literally nothing you can do to increase your odds at finding a great guy so quit conforming and twisting yourself into a human pretzel. Relax, enjoy the company of others and it will happen.

 

Are you shocked by Angelina and Brad’s split? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!

 

Woman Watching Sunset

It’s been awhile and I’ve had a few days to reflect on my current relationship or lack of relationship and where I want my life to go romantically. I was texting “OrangeFace” (I’m going to call him “Orange Face” from now on) and while we were discussing our last breakup he alluded to the fact that maybe we aren’t meant to be because we can’t seem to get it right. I was absolutely gutted. The last few years have been challenging, but I never imagined that we weren’t compatible or meant for each other. I quickly rushed off the phone, I didn’t want to deal with the rejection, his words, the flip flopping in my stomach or the thought of us not eventually being together. I was paralyzed with fear, I’ve always counted on him loving me. Things have fallen apart many times, through those disappointments and set-backs I’ve always relied on his love to sustain me. He’s the love of my life and though I’ve been unable to love him as I should, the thought of losing him rocked my world. I had to ask myself the hard question, do I want him because loving him is comfortable or do I really want to take the time to nurture and build on our love. I’m scared and nervous and even though I don’t need to have all the answers right now, I know that this might be my last chance to be with the only person who will love me the way that I need to be loved. I’m hoping that my fears and anxieties about relationships won’t usurp the strong feelings that I have for him.

Have you ever been in a “merry-ground” relationship? A relationship that felt so good but you experienced “failure to launch”? If you have, I’d love to hear about it in the comment section!

trw

 

if you aren’t following my soundcloud page, you need to! I’m talking about “putting it on the line” and Drake’s lovey dovey speech to Rhianna!

I’ve never taken the marital vows seriously until recently. I’m a witness to what “in sickness and health” really means and I no longer question why some relationships end, I’m actually quite thankful when they do. If he/she won’t return your texts in a timely fashion, forgets your birthday or doesn’t give you emotional support, do you REALLY think they’ll remember to give you your meds, wipe your bum because you can’t do it yourself or hold your hand when your body is racked with pain? They won’t. Stop wondering why it didn’t work and forget them. You dodged a bullet.