I’ve never taken the marital vows seriously until recently. I’m a witness to what “in sickness and health” really means and I no longer question why some relationships end, I’m actually quite thankful when they do. If he/she won’t return your texts in a timely fashion, forgets your birthday or doesn’t give you emotional support, do you REALLY think they’ll remember to give you your meds, wipe your bum because you can’t do it yourself or hold your hand when your body is racked with pain? They won’t. Stop wondering why it didn’t work and forget them. You dodged a bullet.

your mouth, my lips the taste of this magical trip

Your arms, my chest, waves of emotions I can’t suppress

walk on, don’t look back

when we see each other, my pulse reacts

heart thump, I want your soul

two distant oceans, love overflow

squeeze me into the shape you need

I’m flexible baby, your love is all I need

hot chills, small of my back, massage out the kinks of our issues, gotta keep this love intact
harsh words, idle threats, the inflection of your voice has me torn up with regrets 

pack up your stuff, take all your stuff, there’s nothing left here just lies and distrust.  

Happy Tuesday and WELCOME to the first day of my “Love Warfare” seminar. This won’t be a easy ride, there’s a lot to discuss, much will be revealed and it will hurt, but healing is promised. I always ask my girlfriends, what was the earliest moment of love that they remember. Most reply that it was their first relationship or maybe a childhood memory with a parent. Very rarely do I ever hear “I started to embrace love when I chose to love myself” and that’s where our journey begins. Audre Lourde said that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Deciding to abandon the illusion that love that comes from others is the only love that can be validated is a direct affront to how society sees and embraces love. What would happen if you didn’t wait for someone for confirmation of love but instead chose to love yourself radically and without reservation. Scary, right? This is where love becomes challenging because it’s easier to hide our flawed selves from our partners in an attempt to secure their love. When you chose to love yourself despite yourself you have to look at the ugly bits and your issues head on, and warfare will ensue. Personally, the moment I decided that loving myself was paramount to my soul, hell broke loose. I lost friends and relationships because I put my needs and self-care before everything. It was difficult and at times isolating but I needed to do something radical to get through and to put to rest my issues when it came to relationships and how I interpret and give love.

The first step on this sometimes grueling process was to ask myself 3 questions:

Why I didn’t think I deserved love?
Why did I run or wiggle away when people offered me love? and
Why did the thought of defining my relationships make me uncomfortable?

I’ll share my answers on a later post but take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. To get the full experience of my “Love Warfare” seminar I encourage you to keep a journal and to take 15 minutes of silence a day to center yourself everyday.
Feel free to share this post with your loved ones and if you have questions, leave them in the comments.

trw

my insides hurt 

from miscommunication, filled with your ejaculation, longingly hoping that your words turn from hints into action

everything hurts, right down to my core, your sweet nothings fill my mouth, constant regurgitation of naught, your love bites have turned to lesions and sores. nothing makes sense anymore. i was shiny and new, now l’ve lost my allure.

not sure what the cure for this void is, under someone else perhaps, wanted only you to fill me, unfixable heart prolapse. I sit smoking cigarettes, drawing your face with my eyes, pretending that I’m done when I know the truth deep down inside 

Thought we had forever

instant chemistry, never had better

slow dancing in the middle of the night

met your family, everything felt right

bogus accusations, cold feet was your decided affliction 

now i’m stuck with memories of what I once knew

can’t even believe that I trusted you 

I decided to record a quick podcast featuring some of my reader questions. I’ll be discussing open relationships and a financially illiterate boyfriend! Happy listening, please share and send me your questions and concerns.

click here

 

trw

I enjoy being single but I’m wondering if I’m lying to myself….

https://www.facebook.com/wave.brinson/videos/891360374235441/

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