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I nearly spewed coffee all over my computer  when I read that Angelina Jolie , resident sex-kitten had filed for divorce from boy-next door Brad Pitt after two years of marriage.
Jolie Pitt, 41, filed legal docs Monday citing irreconcilable differences, according to TMZ. She asked for physical custody of the couple’s shared six children – Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Vivienne, and Knox – asking for Pitt to be granted visitation.To be quite honest my mouth is agape. I’ve been following their relationship since Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I was happy when they started dating and scoffed at “poor vanilla Jennifer” who obviously couldn’t handle someone as sexy as Brad Pitt. Now after years of gossip fodder, beautiful children, homes in France and New Orleans, philanthropic work, movies, a wedding and cancer, it’s over. I can’t help but feeling exasperated, because the failure of their marriage points to the fact that men aren’t satisfied with anything. Now, I don’t know Brad, Jennifer or Angelina but they present themselves as the vixen and girl next door.

I thought Brad was probably bored with Jennifer because she was too uptight, too vanilla, too predictable. Angie was sexy, smart, flirty, dangerous and unpredictable and in my naiveté, I thought that would keep a man interested forever. Well, nothing keeps a man interested when he’s ready to go.
I think relationships and marriage is very hard and even two people who love each other can/will breakup. There’s no secret formula or potion to attract a life partner. Being too sweet, quiet, and available doesn’t always work. Playing hard-to-get, flirty, adventurous doesn’t fly with all guys either. There’s literally nothing you can do to increase your odds at finding a great guy so quit conforming and twisting yourself into a human pretzel. Relax, enjoy the company of others and it will happen.

 

Are you shocked by Angelina and Brad’s split? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!

 

Woman Watching Sunset

It’s been awhile and I’ve had a few days to reflect on my current relationship or lack of relationship and where I want my life to go romantically. I was texting “OrangeFace” (I’m going to call him “Orange Face” from now on) and while we were discussing our last breakup he alluded to the fact that maybe we aren’t meant to be because we can’t seem to get it right. I was absolutely gutted. The last few years have been challenging, but I never imagined that we weren’t compatible or meant for each other. I quickly rushed off the phone, I didn’t want to deal with the rejection, his words, the flip flopping in my stomach or the thought of us not eventually being together. I was paralyzed with fear, I’ve always counted on him loving me. Things have fallen apart many times, through those disappointments and set-backs I’ve always relied on his love to sustain me. He’s the love of my life and though I’ve been unable to love him as I should, the thought of losing him rocked my world. I had to ask myself the hard question, do I want him because loving him is comfortable or do I really want to take the time to nurture and build on our love. I’m scared and nervous and even though I don’t need to have all the answers right now, I know that this might be my last chance to be with the only person who will love me the way that I need to be loved. I’m hoping that my fears and anxieties about relationships won’t usurp the strong feelings that I have for him.

Have you ever been in a “merry-ground” relationship? A relationship that felt so good but you experienced “failure to launch”? If you have, I’d love to hear about it in the comment section!

trw

 

if you aren’t following my soundcloud page, you need to! I’m talking about “putting it on the line” and Drake’s lovey dovey speech to Rhianna!

I’ve never taken the marital vows seriously until recently. I’m a witness to what “in sickness and health” really means and I no longer question why some relationships end, I’m actually quite thankful when they do. If he/she won’t return your texts in a timely fashion, forgets your birthday or doesn’t give you emotional support, do you REALLY think they’ll remember to give you your meds, wipe your bum because you can’t do it yourself or hold your hand when your body is racked with pain? They won’t. Stop wondering why it didn’t work and forget them. You dodged a bullet.

your mouth, my lips the taste of this magical trip

Your arms, my chest, waves of emotions I can’t suppress

walk on, don’t look back

when we see each other, my pulse reacts

heart thump, I want your soul

two distant oceans, love overflow

squeeze me into the shape you need

I’m flexible baby, your love is all I need

hot chills, small of my back, massage out the kinks of our issues, gotta keep this love intact
harsh words, idle threats, the inflection of your voice has me torn up with regrets 

pack up your stuff, take all your stuff, there’s nothing left here just lies and distrust.  

Happy Tuesday and WELCOME to the first day of my “Love Warfare” seminar. This won’t be a easy ride, there’s a lot to discuss, much will be revealed and it will hurt, but healing is promised. I always ask my girlfriends, what was the earliest moment of love that they remember. Most reply that it was their first relationship or maybe a childhood memory with a parent. Very rarely do I ever hear “I started to embrace love when I chose to love myself” and that’s where our journey begins. Audre Lourde said that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Deciding to abandon the illusion that love that comes from others is the only love that can be validated is a direct affront to how society sees and embraces love. What would happen if you didn’t wait for someone for confirmation of love but instead chose to love yourself radically and without reservation. Scary, right? This is where love becomes challenging because it’s easier to hide our flawed selves from our partners in an attempt to secure their love. When you chose to love yourself despite yourself you have to look at the ugly bits and your issues head on, and warfare will ensue. Personally, the moment I decided that loving myself was paramount to my soul, hell broke loose. I lost friends and relationships because I put my needs and self-care before everything. It was difficult and at times isolating but I needed to do something radical to get through and to put to rest my issues when it came to relationships and how I interpret and give love.

The first step on this sometimes grueling process was to ask myself 3 questions:

Why I didn’t think I deserved love?
Why did I run or wiggle away when people offered me love? and
Why did the thought of defining my relationships make me uncomfortable?

I’ll share my answers on a later post but take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. To get the full experience of my “Love Warfare” seminar I encourage you to keep a journal and to take 15 minutes of silence a day to center yourself everyday.
Feel free to share this post with your loved ones and if you have questions, leave them in the comments.

trw

my insides hurt 

from miscommunication, filled with your ejaculation, longingly hoping that your words turn from hints into action

everything hurts, right down to my core, your sweet nothings fill my mouth, constant regurgitation of naught, your love bites have turned to lesions and sores. nothing makes sense anymore. i was shiny and new, now l’ve lost my allure.

not sure what the cure for this void is, under someone else perhaps, wanted only you to fill me, unfixable heart prolapse. I sit smoking cigarettes, drawing your face with my eyes, pretending that I’m done when I know the truth deep down inside