How do you deal with your in-laws? Are your cordial? Do you share holidays with them? Do you go on family vacations? I don’t have any in-laws per say but I’ve dealt with some challenging would be In-laws that have made me run for the hills! I think looking back, I made myself too available and a part of the family before I got a ring and not knowing my role sometimes caused conflict. I deal with my boyfriends parents differently now, and it’s prevented lots of stressful situations. Below are my 3 tips for not strangling your potential/current in-laws.
1) Act like a girlfriend NOT a wife
I’m big on fixing plates, cooking, doing laundry, buying love trinkets all of the things that one should do for their significant other. I’ve learnt the hard way that I don’t necessarily need to do these things around my boyfriends family. I’ve dealt with territorial family and Mothers who want to pseudo-date their sons and it’s not worth the confusion or drama. I can fawn over my boyfriend in the privacy of our own space.
2) Seperate Holidays
Holidays make sane people go crazy! There’s always the pressure of proposals, talking to annoying Aunties and dealing with calculating cousins. The best thing you can do to save yourself from the unnecessary grief is to celebrate holidays separately. I typically like to eat with my own family and meet the S/O for mocktails and games. No pressure and lots of holiday cheer
3) Stay out of it!
I don’t choose sides when it comes to family arguments, Nor do I agree when my S/O makes disrespectful or derogatory comments about his parents. Why? Because even if you’re right, you’ll be wrong. Create a place of solace for your mate to rant but try to keep your opinions neutral and don’t hold grudges. I’ve been in the situation so many times where I’m upset and family members have mended fences and I’m left with egg on my face.
I hope these tips help you maneuver the emotional land-mine littered field of in-laws. If you have any tips or questions feel free to post them in the comment section.