So Auntie Viv lost her mind and decided to insinuate that her ex boyfriend 50 cents is a “bootysnatcher” aka gay. Everyone knows that 50 Cents is the literal king of petty. He’s vicious and nothing is off bounds for him. I’m not sure what she was thinking but I’m lifting her prayer as she waits for his verbal onslaught. They broke up in 2003, she needs to let it go!

Did your parents divorce affect the way you view your relationships? #divorce #relationships

I’ve been reading a lot of vitriol about Halle Berry and her filling for divorce for the third time. I was a bit shocked when I read the news last week but the commentary about her relationships are deeply disturbing. I don’t know Halle Berry and I’m sure I could pick apart her relationships and deduce as to why she keeps dating the men that she does. We could look at her childhood and blame the abuse of her mother at the hands of her father for the reason she keeps dating and marrying men with volatile tempers. Yes, Halle would be a great and juicy case study. That’s not the problem with her latest saga, I’m more annoyed that the media and haters are condemning her for being divorced 3 times. As someone who has avoided marriage and committed relationships for years, I think Halle is brave for having put her heart out there 3 times., when most of us are afraid to even meet someone for a cup of coffee. Love is difficult even when you have the best intentions. I’ve learned the hard the way to keep quiet when friends are in the midst of divorce, because there’s rarely an innocent party. Though we don’t know the details, Halle has been slut-shamed, her exes have bashed her on twitter, people are telling her to give up on marriage and saying she’s crazy. If she’s crazy for leaving a relationship that doesn’t work for her, let her be crazy. If after her divorce she wants to start dating again, I applaud her. She deserves companionship and though her road to it may be littered by poor choices in partners, I believe she’ll eventually find the man who will love her completely. Maybe you’ve been disappointed by love or you had a bad breakup that has made you shy away from relationships, I encourage you try one more time. Don’t allow one misstep to color the way you see relationships.

Happy Thoughts and Love


halle 2halle 3halle 1 This is gross, you guys broke up 20 years ago. #letitgo

When I end a relationship, I typically don’t stick around to see the bloody, messy, broken fragments of the person I’m leaving behind. Like a ghost, I drift seamlessly out of the lives of those who pursue me and I’m great at not calling or checking in. This is how I heal. I had a ugly fight over the weekend and instead of running, I stood and watched the shards of my words slice the heart of the person I care about. 

I care about him but not enough to tend to the fragility of our relationship. As much as I want to run to him and worm my way into the crook of his neck, at times his presence is overwhelming to me. Even when he’s not physically present, I feel him in the shadows of my mind and his words haunt me. I’ve told him countless times that I’m selfish, you’re crowding me, I need space, and he winces and twists his face, hoping that I’ll change my mind or try to love him a bit more.

I really want to love him. To be kind, to be thegirlfriend that he can be proud of. We both know I can’t, so we fall into this cyclical nightmare, of me pretending to try harder and him ignoring the fact that avoiding being vulnerable with him. 

I’m leaving soon. Packing my belongings and settling somewhere, where much isn’t expected of me. Where I can have calculated conversations, never really submerging myself into the details, continuously drifting, hoping no one catches me.   

If you’re running from marriage because of “things” that come along with it, just don’t do the “things”. You don’t have to have engagement or a bridal shoot. You don’t have to have bridesmaids or groomsmen. You don’t have to have a rehearsal lunch, bridal shower, or bachelorette party. You don’t have to stand in front of people in a dress or shove black cake down your partners mouth. All you have to do, is have pre-marital counseling and have a pastor read your vows. Don’t allow your fear of being thrust in the spotlight stop you from experiencing the happiness in of marriage. #introvertissues


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