Desperately trying to NOT fall into old dating habits. I need validation, but I don’t know how to ask for it.
Hey! I’ve been feeling s little moody of late, so I’m upping my Ayurvedic practices to create some balance as I drag myself through the holiday season. Working out everyday has helped a lot, drinking a gallon a day has become mandatory and adding cleansing and aromatic teas have settled my stomach and helped with my insomnia. Last night I made some tea with almond milk, ashwagandah powder and some honey. It was earthy and delicious and really helped soothe my nerves. I’m telling you this because, My self-care practice has become important in how I approach dating. If I don’t feel good, I won’t attract good people. So, my pursuit of centeredness and balance has become high priority.
Update on the dude from last week: He disappeared over the weekend, I know he’s having some family issues, so I’m not pressing it. Also, I don’t really care. It was nice to have a quiet weekend to myself. We haven’t discussed the holidays, and I’m not too pressed to see him. If it happens, it happens!
Let’s change gears, the holidays calls for kissing! If you’re looking to make your lips as soft as possible, I’d try LaNeige “Sleeping Lip Mask” I bought mine at Sephora, and I love it so much, I use it in the day! Lightweight, but incredibly moisturizing, it will have your lips ready for whoever you plan to kiss under the mistletoe! 
How are you practicing self-care this week?
Has the ghoster been *GASP* ghosted?!?! Finally FT’d ole dude and poof he’s gone! Maybe it’s me, maybe him, but I haven’t heard from him in a week, and I’m not sure if I miss him or if my ego is bruised. I saw some potential, but something was holding me back. Also, the holidays are a weird time. If you’re broke or unhappy, it’s extremely triggering and add a bit of seasonal depression and it’s a clusterfuck waiting to happen. I will miss him
In other news, I’m fighting to get back into my size 6 jeans, I’ve been working out everyday, watching my intake, well TRYING not to stuff my face with chocolate and reminding myself daily that wellness is the key to happiness. Working out during the holidays is a bitch, but I’ve ignored the cookie platter and eggnog and I’m doing 2 smoothies a day and no carbs till Christmas. Praying for the Christmas miracle of abs!
Speaking of Christmas, do you and your partner have plans? I haven’t spent a holiday with someone in a long time, but the thought of getting matching cups of chestnut praline, whilst “Silver Bells” tolls in the background makes me smile. I’m not immune to feelings during this season and though it looks like I won’t have a sleigh companion, I’m happy to be here, I’m happy for second chances, I’m happy for warm sweaters and I’m open for meaningful Christmas memories.
Do you have plans?
So, I vacillate between wanting to be madly in love but also pushing most interested suitors away. I was watching T.D Jakes this morning (as part of my self-care practice) and he mentioned, wanting a high return without making any investment. Wanting something, typically means you have to sacrifice for it, and that’s where I always fall short. I met this really nice guy and I refuse to move the relationship forward. I’m not sure what the problem is, maybe it’s my need to look perfect? My fear of not measuring up? My not wanting to open up? Whatever it is, I want to do the work to get through it, so I can show up and receive the love I deserve. I have a goal of being able to fit back into my size 6 jeans before I start dating and I’m 15 pounds away! I’ve had a few wild weekends, but I’m going to kick it up a notch so I can meet my goal and meet this guy!
Are you dating? Do you have to be a certain weight before you start dating?
Talk to me in the comments!
I think I like someone, not sure if they like me but I feel good when I talk to them. I hope to meet up with them over the holidays
I’m finally, finally, FINALLY single. I cut off communication with my ex and I’m scared but confident I’ve made the right decision. I’ve decided to focus on my self-care which includes eating a plant based diet, drinking more water, eliminating sugar and taking my vitamins. I’m a bit of a shit-show right now. I feel gross and I’ve been eating my feelings. I refuse to beat myself up, instead, I’m just going to buy all the fruit, drink some shake, catch up on some books and take long walks. What’re you up to? Are you dating? Are you ready for the holidays? š¤£
Love you all
TYM
š hi I’ve been missing in action for no good reason, I’m back and here’s an update! I’m still in a weird entanglement with a dude from college, I met a new guy, but I’m not sure if our ideologies mesh, and a person I was really interested in many moons ago, he popped into my DMs and we’ve been having lovely conversations. I’m still hustling, working out, and drinking buckets of lemon water. I’m trying to be a bit more adventurous, taking yoga, kickboxing classes, hitting up new cafes and museums on the weekend. I’ve been incredibly lazy, just netflix and Trader Joe’s snacks. I know that I won’t meet people if I’m stuck in my place, but golly is it hard to venture out after a long week. In the next several weeks, I’ll be discussing dating someone with mental health issues, letting go of someone you love, love after 35, dating in New York, dating outside of your race during dismal political moment, and conquering emotional wellness. Thanks for your commitment to my inconsistent blog, love you all! trw
I wish a she-bear would burst into this restaurant and devour me. This date is is going no where fast. No more pastors. #TopieDates
And for the record, there’s NO WHERE in the Bible where it says that a woman has to change her last name and that has nothing to with her unwillingness to submit. And secondly, no one wants to talk about submission on the first date And thirdly, there’s never a situation where you can eat a sweet potato fry off my plate.
One thing I’ve learned about dating is that people will come out of the woodwork. My inbox is full of randoms who say crap like “oh, I want to take you out” or “what about me?”WHAT ABOUT NOTHING.
I don’t want to get married next week but I also don’t want to waste my time with people who only show interest when it looks like I’m moving on. I’m not wasting my time on fruitless relationships, you shouldn’t either.
Conversation was great, lots of laughing. For a long time a partner that made me laugh wasn’t a requirement, now it is. He was incredibly witty, well read and a bit snarky but in the good way. I typically avoid discussions about religion or politics but as WOC in the company of a White person, I need to know if you’re Right leaning/homophobic/bigot/transphobic etc. Me: Mmmm, this salmon is so good, so did you vote for Trump?
The Reluctant Wife 