If you don’t love me like President Obama loves Michelle, kindly leave me alone. His words and tears gave me the kick in the pants, to finally admit that I want that kind of love. I’m no more the “reluctant wife” but someone who deserves to be loved completely and totally by a great person. No longer will I settle with empty promises, nice intentions, and flowery words. I will instead seek to better myself and prepare myself for the partner I deserve. I will be vulnerable, open and dedicated to putting in the work to create a long lasting relationship. It won’t be easy but it’s absolutely worth it.
What are your relationship goals? Do you have a couple that you look up to?
*you can follow me @thereluctantwife and on Facebook “The Reluctant Wife” let’s hang out and talk!
When I moved to the US many moons ago, the first person that I dated informed me that we’re “talking.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I went along with it. I still have no idea what “talking” means and to be honest, I think it’s bullshit. Now, I don’t think just because you talk on the phone every night or share screenshots of food it means that you’re in a committed relationship, but I do believe that giving the early stages of a relationship the label of “talking” gives it a false sense of security. I’ve wasted time devoting myself to one person in the talking phase only to discover that they were talking to multiple people at the same time. Not only did I feel misled, but it felt sneaky. Everyone wants to be chosen, that’s the literal reason that we date, I just think that in the pursuit of finding a perfect mate we can still be kind to all of the people we’re getting to know.
My new dating rule for 2017, is to be upfront with everyone that I’m getting to know and lay it on the table. I don’t want to cause unnecessary pain to a good person because I’m indecisive or interested in multiple people. This time around, I’m not getting attached to what may happen in the future in the “talking” phase. My expectatations are low and I take things at face value. If we see each other, great. If we don’t, great. I won’t refuse dates from possible suitors even when I really like someone and I won’t take it personally if things don’t work out.
It’s 10 days into the new year! What are some of your dating goals? Do you think that the “talking” phase is bullshit too?
I think you should be who you are and do what you feel. I think too many people are worried about what the other person is thinking. You can’t control that though Your “love” language is yours.
So much has happened in the last few weeks, let me give you a quick run down.
I moved out of my old place and found a better place
I reconnected with a old flame
I met a new flame
I’m still enjoying New York.
I spent most of November in DC with my nephew
I’m going vegetarian in 2017
I’m still confused about love
I’ve missed you all!
Back to regularly scheduled blogging with more podcasts, more questions, more heart searching and more likely more drama😉
I’m off to watch the NEW Star Wars movie! I don’t have a date, so I’m going solo, have you seen it?
i just finished watching the first 4 episodes of “Divorce” a HBO Original Show yesterday and I’m officially hooked. I didn’t realize that I missed Sarah Jessica Parker so much or how ridiculously funny Thomas Haden Church is. I’ve never been through a divorce but my parents have and this show’s depiction is very accurate of how funny, heartbreaking, and frustrating a divorce can be. Each scene is exquisite, lots of a facial nuances, hurt feelings, furrowed brows and pain.
Frances and Robert have been married for 10 years, they have 2 children and Frances has decided that she wants to divorce her surly, often times inappropriate, contractor husband. She soon realizes that “leaving” isn’t as easy as she thought. “Divorce” is irreverent, “laugh out loud” funny and very honest. The actors are very polarizing and honestly, any show that has Molly Shannon in it, is a winner in my humble opinion. I can’t say enough about this show and I hope you try to check it out if you haven’t already.
You can catch “Divorce’ on HBO at 10pm every Sunday.
If you’ve seen the show, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
“Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.
If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.
I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.”
Nikita Gill, Advice to Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love.
beautiful and important words. Please spread this wildly